Edward Elric Short Rants

“Who are you calling so small he could use a grasshopper in a rodeo?!”

“Who are you calling the runtiest of Santa's elves?!”

“Who are you calling so small that even the munchkins laugh and call him a freak?!”

“Who are you calling short enough to make even ants break formation and stare?!”

“Who are you calling so small he's mistaken for a comma in a sentence?!”

“Who are you calling so small that he can build a sandcastle with a single grain of sand?!”

“Who are you calling small enough to do a tap dance on top of an oompa loompa's head?!”

“Who are you calling so small that he keeps an aphid for a pet?!”

“Who are you calling so small that he would drown in a falling raindrop?!”

“Who are you calling small enough to get lost in a keyhole?!”

“Who are you calling small enough to mistake someone's head for a forest of redwood trees?!”

“Who are you calling so small he could build a penthouse suite in a hydrogen atom?!”

“Who are you calling so small that he gets to star in a movie with the part of ‘main character's freckle’?!”